When I was younger I used to always have a great outlook on things. If there was some sort of disaster, I would always find the bright side. I was accused on more than one occasion of being "such a Pollyanna". Well, no more. I haven't heard those words in a very long time. I don't know if it's just human nature or part of my genealogy, but it seems like I've gotten a little cynical and grouchy in the last few weeks. Remember the house on the speedway and problems we were having in getting the sale to come to a close? Well, Praise God, it finally closed and recorded. The new people finally received their keys and are probably unpacking boxes as I type this. I'm genuinely happy for them. However, during these last 3 weeks of waiting, I have been mislead on more than one occasion. I have been out and out lied to on more than one occasion. And, I have felt a level of discouragement I have never felt before. As a matter of fact, when all the key players were telling us to "be patient it will happen", I found yet another reason to not believe it. I was becoming a negative, old grouch! Yikes, how did that happen? Finally today, we saw our bank balance online and realized the sale was final. The long wait was over. We are officially "apartment dwellers" and we couldn't be happier! Thank you God!
Speaking of God, I will be the first to admit how little I depended on Him during the last 3 weeks. I think in retrospect, He was trying to get my attention. Oh I prayed every day. I thanked Him for His goodness and grace, but looking back, I hear the words I said, but I can't remember any emotion behind it...except selfishness. "Lord, please hurry this along, so we can begin to make plans to visit our daughter and son-in-law and share in their excitement of the new baby" I remember praying. And as it got later and later in the process, my prayers sounded something like this: "Lord, please let this be over soon. We don't really want to make another house payment and a rent payment". Wow,looking back, I'll bet God was shaking His head saying, "She just doesn't get it. I have given her good health, a marriage that today is strong. The resources to be able to afford an extra house payment, rent, and other necessary payments and she's not even saying thank you for that." The Bible says in 1 Thessalonians 5:18: give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. I've certainly not had a very thankful heart these last few weeks. Instead I was allowing myself to feel the weight of the circumstances rather than allowing God's mercy to shine through. And though I did not do or say anything to purposefully dishonor God, I certainly did not honor Him the way He deserves to be honored. My new favorite song is by Casting Crowns called "Praise You In This Storm". I even downloaded it as a ringtone on my phone, I love it that much. Part of the song reads: "I was sure by now/That You would have reached down/And wiped our tears away/Stepped in and saved the day/But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining. As the thunder rolls/I barely hear You whisper through the rain/"I'm with you"/And as Your mercy falls/I raise my hands and praise the God who gives/And takes away." I am ashamed. I know I could have honored God by not complaining as much and not allowing my stress level to peak at times. I could have delcared that God was in control and not any of the "key players" and I should have looked for the real reasons behind the delay, the hidden jewels He may have had for me. I should have carefully been listening for him to say "I'm with you". My gracious, heavenly Father, I come before you now with a very grateful heart. A heart that is bursting at the seams in gratitude for your mercy and your unconditional love and forgiveness. Lord, I'm sorry for the times I was so busy worrying about the situation and talking about it so much, that I missed what you may have been whispering in my ear. Father, I'm listening now and I hear your words of love and forgiveness. Please hear mine; that I will sincerely try to face the stresses of life with gratitude and I will always try to slow down enough to hear You speak. And Lord I pray, I will honor you always. Amen. Pollyanna might not live here anymore, but I do. And as long as I am able, I pray I will honor God in all that I do. By the way...did I tell you I'm going to be a grandma?!!! Praise God!
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Monday, June 19, 2006
Life's Not Fair . . .
To my unborn grandchild, I want to say there will come a time when you find yourself saying that very same thing. "Life's not fair"! It might be because you think you should eat ice cream for breakfast and mommy said no. Perhaps you'll want to cross the street by yourself and your parents don't feel you're ready. As you grow older, your heart at some point, may get broken and you'll find yourself wondering how life can be so cruel. How can something so horrible happen when you didn't do anything wrong...? Truth is, life is not fair...but God is always fair.
Life has taken a strange twist for us. The house on the speedway I mentioned the other day, the one we thought we'd sold? Well, it looks like the sale is not going to go through. We had a meeting yesterday with our real estate agent and our broker, and unless there are some pretty drastic things that happen between now and 9:00 AM today, we're going to have to make some pretty tough decisions about putting the house back on the market to sell. Apparently our buyer is having a tough time obtaining a loan. So today,I'm wondering how life can be so unfair. We did everything right. We entered into an agreement with our buyers in good faith. We left our house in the very best condition possible in order to let the new people have a wonderful beginning there. We've been living in an apartment for two weeks when we could and should still be in our home. And not only have we had to make our mortgage payment, we've had to make a rent payment as well. And today I'm saying, "Life's not fair!"
We talked about it for hours after we both got home last night, playing out several scenarios. How if we'd have done anything differently, could it have changed the outcome? We'll never know for sure. But we did realize one thing for sure, that if we had missed out on this experience, and at this point, still not knowing the ultimate outcome, we would have missed out on an opportunity to see God working in our lives. We wouldn't have seen our dependence on God deepen as it has. We have observed positive changes in our character that would have gone unnoticed. We would have missed the opportunity to rely on each other more, as we have. When one of us was exhausted and worn down, the other one carried on. We were each other's biggest cheerleaders and supporters. Not to say we didn't each collectively have our meltdowns, but compared to stressful times in our past, we have grown tremendously. Life's not fair...sure, there will always be times when that's true...at first glance. But, put some distance between you and the situation you're finding yourself in and you just might see the bigger picture and see that God is always fair. Lean on God when the world seems unfair. He will always be there. Oh yeah...did I tell you I'm going to be a grandma? Life's good!
Gracious Heavenly Father, Thank you for loving us so much that you protect us from ourselves. That the things we think we deserve to have today, you sometimes save for later. Knowing that in time, it will be appreciated and used to glorify You. Help us to recognize that if we wait, sometimes the outcome will be even better. Forgive us for being the selfish children we are and for thinking we deserve to have it our way, all the time. I ask God, that You show us how to depend on You more, to seek Your word and listen to Your truths for our life, based on what You want for us Lord, and not what we think we should have. Thank you again for your Son and the sacrifices that were made for us. Our difficult times and stressful situations pale in comparison to what He has suffered for us. Help me to remember that always. In Jesus' name...Amen.
Life has taken a strange twist for us. The house on the speedway I mentioned the other day, the one we thought we'd sold? Well, it looks like the sale is not going to go through. We had a meeting yesterday with our real estate agent and our broker, and unless there are some pretty drastic things that happen between now and 9:00 AM today, we're going to have to make some pretty tough decisions about putting the house back on the market to sell. Apparently our buyer is having a tough time obtaining a loan. So today,I'm wondering how life can be so unfair. We did everything right. We entered into an agreement with our buyers in good faith. We left our house in the very best condition possible in order to let the new people have a wonderful beginning there. We've been living in an apartment for two weeks when we could and should still be in our home. And not only have we had to make our mortgage payment, we've had to make a rent payment as well. And today I'm saying, "Life's not fair!"
We talked about it for hours after we both got home last night, playing out several scenarios. How if we'd have done anything differently, could it have changed the outcome? We'll never know for sure. But we did realize one thing for sure, that if we had missed out on this experience, and at this point, still not knowing the ultimate outcome, we would have missed out on an opportunity to see God working in our lives. We wouldn't have seen our dependence on God deepen as it has. We have observed positive changes in our character that would have gone unnoticed. We would have missed the opportunity to rely on each other more, as we have. When one of us was exhausted and worn down, the other one carried on. We were each other's biggest cheerleaders and supporters. Not to say we didn't each collectively have our meltdowns, but compared to stressful times in our past, we have grown tremendously. Life's not fair...sure, there will always be times when that's true...at first glance. But, put some distance between you and the situation you're finding yourself in and you just might see the bigger picture and see that God is always fair. Lean on God when the world seems unfair. He will always be there. Oh yeah...did I tell you I'm going to be a grandma? Life's good!
Gracious Heavenly Father, Thank you for loving us so much that you protect us from ourselves. That the things we think we deserve to have today, you sometimes save for later. Knowing that in time, it will be appreciated and used to glorify You. Help us to recognize that if we wait, sometimes the outcome will be even better. Forgive us for being the selfish children we are and for thinking we deserve to have it our way, all the time. I ask God, that You show us how to depend on You more, to seek Your word and listen to Your truths for our life, based on what You want for us Lord, and not what we think we should have. Thank you again for your Son and the sacrifices that were made for us. Our difficult times and stressful situations pale in comparison to what He has suffered for us. Help me to remember that always. In Jesus' name...Amen.
Friday, June 16, 2006
A Few of My Favorite Things
"Rain drops on roses and whiskers on kittens, bright copper kettles and warm, woolen mittens". These are a few of "My Favorite Things". I love that song! It makes me happy. This morning I awoke to birds singing in nearby trees. Now most of you might say, "OK, so what?" What you might not realize is, we just moved off of the 3rd turn of the Las Vegas Motor Speedway. Not literally obviously, but the street on the side of our house, sure made it seem that way. The noise as the cars and busses went by was constant and loud. We couldn't leave our doors and windows open because the sounds of traffic would drown out conversation as well as the television. So to actually hear birds sing their morning praises to God, was a beautiful sound to me! I pray that by the end of today I will remember the beautiful way my morning began.
It's been a rough couple of days. Our house (on the speedway) was sold a little over a month ago and we've moved into (the quiet) apartment. What is so rough about that? The house still hasn't closed and there appears to be potential problems with our buyers obtaining a loan. We're hoping by today we'll have some news as to the direction we'll be going. We know we won't be moving back, but we'll be discussing the possibility of putting our home back on the market. Pray for us...this is NOT one of "My Favorite Things".
I got a call yesterday from a dear, elderly lady in our church. Her husband has been placed in a nursing home and it won't be too long before he's called home to be with Jesus. Mary, knows this to be true and the peace she has was so contagious. After talking to her and hearing the contentment in her voice, I knew the stressful situation I thought I was in, didn't compare to hers. Yet she was at peace. Lord, how come I get it wrong more times than I get it right?
Another favorite thing of mine are fireflies, or lightning bugs for you Southerners! I saw my first firefly last summer (I was 51)when we went to visit our daughter in Nashville. I remember I squealed with delight! I don't know their ecological value to the planet, but to me, they make me happy! I can't wait for my next trip south...Did I tell you I'm going to be a Grandma? That is one of my favorite things and that makes me happy!
Father God, Creator of the Universe, I stand before you in awe at the world You created for us to enjoy. Lord forgive me for taking each day for granted. For acting like it's mine to do with what I please. Thank you for your grace and your mercy and I beg for your forgiveness. Father, to be given the honor of becoming someone's grandma, is for me, a dream come true. I loved being a parent, although at times I know I didn't do it well. But with your help Lord, I will be the best grandma my little, beloved grandchild could ever want. I promise he or she will know you by name. With your help and guidance he or she will come to know you as their friend and Savior. We give you all the honor and praises forever! Amen
It's been a rough couple of days. Our house (on the speedway) was sold a little over a month ago and we've moved into (the quiet) apartment. What is so rough about that? The house still hasn't closed and there appears to be potential problems with our buyers obtaining a loan. We're hoping by today we'll have some news as to the direction we'll be going. We know we won't be moving back, but we'll be discussing the possibility of putting our home back on the market. Pray for us...this is NOT one of "My Favorite Things".
I got a call yesterday from a dear, elderly lady in our church. Her husband has been placed in a nursing home and it won't be too long before he's called home to be with Jesus. Mary, knows this to be true and the peace she has was so contagious. After talking to her and hearing the contentment in her voice, I knew the stressful situation I thought I was in, didn't compare to hers. Yet she was at peace. Lord, how come I get it wrong more times than I get it right?
Another favorite thing of mine are fireflies, or lightning bugs for you Southerners! I saw my first firefly last summer (I was 51)when we went to visit our daughter in Nashville. I remember I squealed with delight! I don't know their ecological value to the planet, but to me, they make me happy! I can't wait for my next trip south...Did I tell you I'm going to be a Grandma? That is one of my favorite things and that makes me happy!
Father God, Creator of the Universe, I stand before you in awe at the world You created for us to enjoy. Lord forgive me for taking each day for granted. For acting like it's mine to do with what I please. Thank you for your grace and your mercy and I beg for your forgiveness. Father, to be given the honor of becoming someone's grandma, is for me, a dream come true. I loved being a parent, although at times I know I didn't do it well. But with your help Lord, I will be the best grandma my little, beloved grandchild could ever want. I promise he or she will know you by name. With your help and guidance he or she will come to know you as their friend and Savior. We give you all the honor and praises forever! Amen
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