I'm Tired

I'm tired...no, I'm REALLY tired. Seems like life has been running at a break neck speed for months and months and I can't keep up the pace anymore.

Here's my day today:
Awake at 4:00 (can't sleep)
I'll be at work by 6:00 AM, because I'm putting together the 2nd Christmas Party in a week, and there's lots to do.
I'll put in my 8 hours (alright it will be a 14 Hour day, but who's counting)
Tonight is our First Wednesday service and I'll get home around 8:30PM (excuse me 14 l/2 hours)

Then tomorrow I'll do the same thing, except I'll be home by 6:00 (watch out I might do something crazy like sleep?...if I can)

I know for many my day is no different than yours...locations change, details are different, but we're all moving and doing so many things and just exhausting ourselves.

I think my exhaustion is more mental. After all, we're buying a house,(packing, or at least thinking about that, picking carpet and flooring and second guessing my choices) organizing schedules for our trip to Nashville, (did I mention I'm going to be a grandma? two weeks away from home and job requires taking care of a few details), shopping for Christmas (Yikes...it's coming), working my job (which between October and December just goes crazy with Christmas, budgets, end of year evaluations...)...OK not MORE mental, but the mental part clearly adds to the fatigue.

I'll be fine...in February...I hope.

On a happier note we got to spend time with my nieces this past weekend. Melanie and her husband Brian hung out with us at Disneyland. It was great. Melanie took this picture

She actually photo shopped out the people in the background and many of you will be receiving it as your Christmas card (if I get to those this year).

The morning after Disneyland we went to breakfast with my other niece Shannon and I have great pictures of the girls, but I can't seem to download them to the blog....but I'll continue to work on that.

In the meantime...life will continue to move at the break neck speeds and I must make a conscience choice to make my small part of the world slow down. I will enjoy this holiday season. I will not allow Satan to fill my life with so many "things to do" that I forget to enjoy today.

Today, I am one day closer to being Carter's grandma and whenever I think about that, my heart smiles even if my face sometimes doesn't show it.

Father,
I pray that today I will honor you with my time. That I will not be so busy I forget that I am Your instrument. That You may be placing someone in my path to share Your heart and Your smile, even when I don't think I have it to share. God, help me when the fatigue over takes me and makes me want to be sad and selfish to allow You to work through me. I know I can accomplish that if I allow You to be the Lord of my life. Help me to step back and allow You to take control.

Thank you for today and the promise of an eternity with You. That too, makes my heart smile. I love you Lord. Amen

Friends Like Wine, Age Better With Time

The neighborhood kids and their parents!

Sometimes life can seem unfair. But life is life. There are times when there isn't a logical explanation as to why something happens.

Recently a long time family friend died. Terry Murphy and her "clan" moved two doors down from us in the 1960's. She had 3 boys, Kevin, Bobby, and Eddie. In 1967 (or so) Timmy was born and joined the neighborhood fun. Kevin is my brother Mike's age....Mike is younger than I (I'll leave it at that)so I did more babysitting of the boys than actual playing with them. I remember babysitting the 3 boys on the day Timmy was born. I spent the day, and well into the night with them as we waited for their dad to come home and announce they had another baby brother.

When Terry came home from the hospital, I remember instead of money for my time babysitting, she bought me a beautiful green striped sweater. I don't know why I remember that. Yes I do, you see we didn't get many new clothes when we were younger. My parents couldn't afford many new clothes. I got a lot of hand-me-downs (and they were nice hand-me-downs don't get me wrong)from friends of my parents. I'm not complaining, but I do remember this beautiful green striped sweater.

Terry was born in Scotland and had a very thick Scottish accent. We loved listening to her talk. She had the brightest smile and the warmest heart...and she was strict. If she caught you doing something wrong, she'd tell our parents...and that was never good! She was a no-nonsense lady. She'd tell you the truth about something, whether you liked it or not...and she was funny.

Terry was diagnosed with liver cancer in June...by the middle of November she was gone. Her memorial service was this past Friday.

We drove to Southern California on Friday to attend the memorial service. It has been close to 30 years since I'd seen most of the family. I hardly recognized the "boys". But the minute we all started talking and sharing memories it felt like we were back on Shipman Avenue all over again.

Other neighborhood kids were also there as well. We shared our memories of jumping on our bikes and being gone all day, hide'n seek at night and neighborhood parties. None of us could believe how long it had been since we'd seen each other, or more honestly even thought of each other. But here we were, at the funeral of someone we all loved and admired and who helped shape us, in some way, into the adults we had become today.

Terry's memorial service was exactly what I hope to have one day...a celebration of life! Family and friends all coming together to remenice, reflect, laugh, cry and feel close again to people who at one time were very important in our lives.

Goodbye Mrs. Murphy (said with a scottish brogue) you will be missed.

Father,
Again I give thanks to You for the friends You have brought into my life. People like Terry who I know, you placed in many of our lives, to help make us the people we are today. Father, Terry allowed You to use her as your instrument and I pray God that I too, will be used by You to share Your love. Show me Lord, everyday, how I might impact just one person. To let one person know You and Your love by how I treat them. Lord, I know heaven is a better place today because Terry is now there. I hope that when I finally get to come and spend eternity with You, Terry, along with all my family and friends who have passed on before me, will be waiting there at the Pearly Gates, to welcome me home.

Thank you again God for placing Terry and her "clan" in my life and into the lives of so many others. They have blessed us richly. Amen.

40 Days and Counting

When I think about the number of days (give or take a few) left before Carter's arrival, it's overwhelming...and I'm just the grandma! Alyson and Mike have been spending their time, getting those last few items before he comes. They've been putting the finishing touches on the nursery and reading up on everything they can think of as they make the transition from "couple" to "family". I hope they know they already have everything they need...LOVE!

It's been so much fun watching the entire entire family as we wait for the call. It's all we talk about! The airline tickets have been purchased, including tickets for the uncles! Vacation time has been approved and little things purchased and placed in the "special place" to remember to put in the suitcases!

Time is going by quickly for us, the grandparents and uncles! The parents-to-be might not think that way, but the wait is almost over. I've been keeping my mind and hands busy with projects to help expedite the time and here are a few things I've been doing:



The inspiration for the design on the letter C comes from ribbon Alyson has placed on baskets and things in Carter's room. I hope it will be a nice addition to a shelf in Carter's room...if not, maybe the puppies will enjoy a new toy!






This next project has taken taken quite a few hours out of my weeks recently (one of the reasons I haven't blogged more frequently).


When I was in Nashville for Alyson's shower we had gone out shopping and saw some very cute crocheted scarfs and Alyson said we should learn to crochet...I bit my tongue because I didn't want to spoil the surprise. I hope they like it. The blanket has the same colors we used to paint Carter's room. It's been a true labor of love!

I'm putting the finishing touches on the blanket and after that I don't know what I'll do next. In the meantime, progress on the new house is coming along. We have our walk through on December 20th, which means we could move in that week. Yes, there is plenty on our plates to keep us busy until Carter's arrival. Once he's here though, all of our attention is on him. Two weeks in Nashville to do nothing but welcome our little guy, love on his parents and make sure they're comfortable and settled into their roles before we have to head back to Vegas. Southwest Airlines better watch out...we're going to get to know each and every crew member on their direct flights to Nashville, personally!



Heavenly Father,
It's true, time stands still for no one. And these last 8 months have gone by so quickly. Lord I pray that as these new few weeks go by I will not take one day for granted. Continue to show me the beautiful gifts you give me every day. The warmth of sunshine, the bluest of skies and even the crisp air of winter. I know these are gifts from You and more often than not, they go unnoticed, or even worse, I complain about them. I pray that when Your next gift to me, my grandson is presented, I will be able to share Your love as freely as you do. Help me to teach him about You and to know he is loved so very much by You. You are an awesome God and I'm am most grateful! Amen

Counting My Blessings

So it's been a while...a long while. Suffice it to say, I've been counting my blessings. In a few months, I will be holding Carter Jeffrey in my arms...and all will be right with the world.

October was an interesting month. I'd love to share all the gruesome details with you...but not now. Stop by sometime with a bottle of merlot, a little time...and who knows...

So, I am approximately 67 days away from being a grandma! Wow...what an exciting experience it's been, WAITING for this day...I can hardly begin to think about when it actually happens...what that will feel like.

I'm leaving on Thursday for Nashville. Alyson's "Nashville" Baby Shower is on Saturday and I get to be there! Last weekend Chip and I spent our time at the mall buying just about every cute outfit in Las Vegas for Carter. By the way...I haven't told you... our grandson's name is Carter Jeffrey. It's so surreal to have a name for this little guy, whom we've loved from the minute we knew he was a being...let alone a little boy. Excitment just pours through my veins like water...I can hardly stand it! I watch all the baby shows on TLC (crying as if they are one of my own family)and see the excitement (and relief of the mommies) when they see their precious newborns for the first time. Soon that will be us. We made our flight arrangements for the January delivery today..now Carter needs to cooperate with Grandma and Grandpa's schedule *wink*.

So back to counting my blessings...I am truly blessed. I have a job I love...I have 3 kids and a husband who truly love me (and I think even like me at times)...my extended family of sisters and a brother, my mom and in-laws are all doing well and thankfully we're all physically healthy, even if the mental health is in question at times...and I have friends.

I had lunch today with 2 long time friends (notice I didn't say old?) I used to work with Linda and Michelle many years ago at Drs. Medical Billing. A couple of us hadn't seen each other in close to 7 years. We've been through both good times and bad as our 3 hour lunch today reminded us. It was fun to get together...I missed them without realizing it, until we sat down together and started reminiscing. Ironically, we had pretty much kept up with each other's lives in some form...generally through other friends who we talked with (some form of gossip I'm sure...but the good kind)...it was a great afternoon. We said our goodbyes, promising to get together soon. I hope we can, but life can be so demanding. If I haven't heard from them by the middle of January I will call them. After all, I'll have to share pictures of my grandson...by the way...did I tell you I'm going to be a grandma?

Heavenly Father,
When I stop and think about Your unconditional love, I'm overwhelmed. How can you continue to love me, when I'm so unworthy of that love? But you have shown me your faithfulness, time and time again. Thank you. Thank you for Your love, thank you for allowing me to be loved by my family and thank you for the gift of friendship. Today I became accutely aware of these gifts. My prayer today is that I show Your love to them all...today and always. In Jesus' name...Amen

The Countdown Continues

Look at this! We're out of the triple digits on our countdown! 99 more days until our love grows and the snugglefest begins!!!!!!!!!

THE BEST IS YET TO COME

Out of the tree of life, I just picked me a plumb
You came along and everything started to hum
Still it's a real good bet, the best is yet to come

The best is yet to come, and won't that be fine
You think you've seen the sun, but you ain't seen it shine

Wait till the warm-up is underway
Wait till our lips have met
Wait till you see that sunshine day
You ain't seen nothin' yet

The best is yet to come, and won't that be fine
The best is yet to come, come the day that your mine


September 22, 1978

A day like any other day except…I was 9 months pregnant and ready to pop. Actually, I still had 3 days to go before the actual due date, but I had been ready for a long time.
This was my second pregnancy. I had a two-year old boy Bryan, anxiously waiting for the day he would be the big brother. Could today be the day?

We woke up at our normal time and Chip got ready to go to work. I was having contractions but heck, I’d been through this before and it didn’t quite seem like I was ready. I encouraged Chip to go to work, promising I would call if the contractions grew closer or stronger. I tried going back to bed but by this time the contractions were 5 minutes apart. No sooner had Chip gotten into the office and I thought I’d better call. I told him I thought he needed to come home and he immediately headed back to the house. By the time he returned, the contractions had stopped. It was crazy! They had been 5 minutes apart for a couple of hours and suddenly they stopped! Chip said he wasn’t driving back to work, so he suggested we go do something. We decided to call my younger sister Eileen and ask her to come watch Bryan. We thought we’d go to the mall, walk around a little bit and price out Sees Suckers vs. cigars to make our big announcement. Back then, having an ultrasound to let us know the sex of the baby just wasn’t done. They only did ultrasounds if there was a potential risk to either the mother or the baby. Thankfully, there was nothing to indicate a problem with either of us. It had been a perfect pregnancy from day one. So, we would have to wait to see if the baby was a boy or a girl, which meant we would have to wait to buy the suckers or cigars, because they either came with pink stickers or bands or blue and we didn’t know what we would need.

After carrying and delivering a boy 2 years prior, I was pretty sure I was having another boy. Secretly, I wanted a girl desperately, but never considered myself a lucky person, so I resigned myself to the fact that this baby was a boy. But I’m getting ahead of my story.

Once we were at the mall the contractions were getting closer and closer. After having gone through 14 hours of labor with baby number 1, I promised myself I wasn’t going to spend that much time in the hospital, prior to delivery. I remember walking into the cigar shop at the mall and having a huge contraction. The salesman was showing us cigars and asked me when the baby was due. I took a deep cleansing breath, exhaled through my nose and said, “anytime”. The salesman’s eyes grew wide and I turned to Chip and said, “I think we’d better head to the hospital”. I suddenly had an immediate flashback to when I gave birth to my first child. We were at dinner when my water broke. It was a little embarrassing to say the least, and now, to be in the middle of the mall and have my water break, well for being 9 months pregnant, I walked really fast!

We left the store, not making a purchase, stopped by the house to pick up the bag and went directly to the hospital. By this time it was 2:00 PM. They checked me and I was dilated to 6…they were going to admit me!

The rest of the afternoon is a blur because it went by so quickly and it was “textbook perfect”. My doctor showed up in a very good mood. He checked me out and said it won’t be long. Within a few hours Chip was advised to go “scrub up and change” and before we knew it I was wheeled into the delivery room.

The delivery couldn’t not have been more perfect. Everything about it was exactly as if it came from a textbook (according to my doctor). By the time I was ready to deliver, the doctor was singing, “The best is yet to come and won’t it be fine?”

After just a few healthy pushes Dr. Juario proudly announced, “it’s a girl!” Imagine my surprise! I was lucky after all! She was born at 6:29 PM at Queen of the Valley hospital in West Covina, CA. She weighed 8 lbs. 8 oz. and was 21” long. She was beautiful…but wait…what were we going to name her? I was so certain “she” would be a “he” I hadn’t considered any girl names. Over the next 24 hours we got to know our little girl a little better and chose a name I loved the minute I first heard it… She would be named Alyson.

Back in the delivery room Dr. Juario continued to sing that same song. To this day it makes me smile whenever I hear it. Alyson and Mike even chose that song to be played at their wedding, during their recessional.

It’s true, “The best is yet to come…” and it continues in January 2007. Did I tell you I’m going to be a grandma? Happy Birthday Alyson. May your baby boy bring you the same joy and happiness you've given to us! We love you!

Gracious Heavenly Father,
28 years seems like a very long time to us, but to you it’s like a nano second. 28 years for us is filled with good times and bad times. For You, as You look down at us, I pray it’s been filled with mostly good times. Times and events that, as we went through them and wondered why, You looked at us and knew why and what the outcome would be. You chose those times to mold us and to shape us and to help us cling to You even more.
Thank you for each lesson You gave us. I pray we’ve learned well and have made you smile in delight. Thank you for loving me so much, You gave me the deepest desire of my heart, to be the mother of a little girl. I thank you and love you so much. Amen.

Today's Decision

Everyday we make hundreds of decisions; "What shall I wear today?", "Where will I go for lunch?", "What shall we watch on TV tonight?" etc. Pretty mindless for the most part. But then, there are those decisions that require much more thought, much more planning and consideration; "Should I say 'yes'?" "When should we start our family?" (by the way, did I tell you I'm going to be a grandma? A little boy, due in January) and the one we've been wrestling with, "where should we buy our next home?"

Tonight that decision was made. When our little grandson comes for his first visit to Grandma's house, he'll be coming to our new home at Mountain's Edge, a master planned community here in Las Vegas.(Note I'm trying to insert a link, and it's not happening.) We've chosen a single story home (2,100 sq. ft) in a beautiful, gated neighborhood with a huge park planned within walking distance. I see many hours of fun at the community center pools, as well as at the park!

I'm thrilled, to say the least! Am I looking forward to the hard work ahead of us, such as picking floor tiles and carpet, choosing paint schemes and color patterns? Not to mention, planning and planting the backyard. Not so much. We've done this before and it's hard work! I am however, looking forward to making this house a home. A place for our family and friends to feel welcomed and loved.

Lord,
You are so good to me and I am so undeserving. You have given me a true gift when you gave me my husband. These last several months I have witnessed a transformation. A transformation of a mindset I did not think would be or could be changed.(my mindset or his?) I limited Your power, as I often do. Forgive me. Allow me to fully appreciate the change and not take it for granted. I pray I will continually draw from the strength You give to me and lavish in the peace the comes from You. Lord, I give you all the credit, glory and honor. Amen

How Am I Going To Do It?

Our friends Nicole and Rob have a new baby, Jack. Jack is 2 months old and I got to hold him for the first time last Wednesday. Not because I didn't want to hold him sooner, but the opportunity never presented itself. Until Wednesday night.

Nicole walked up to me, holding baby Jack in her arms, and I asked if I could hold him. Without hesitation she handed him to me and my heart swelled with love and my eyes instantly filled with tears. You see, Jack at that very moment, represented my grandson-to-be, and my thoughts instantly went to the day I would watch him be born and just as quickly to the day I would have to leave him in Nashville and return to Las Vegas.

I don't know how I'm going to be able to do that. Many of my friends are now grandmothers and I have to ask you, how do you do it? I've been able to watch you be wonderful grandmas from across the United States and I don't know if I wasn't listening earlier, or if I just didn't get it, but I don't remember your stories on how hard it was for you. Please help me.

When I think about going back to Nashville to witness his birth, I'm just as excited as I can be, but when I let my mind go to that dreaded day I have to leave for the airport, I'm instantly crying.

Whatever advice you can offer dear friends, I'd love to hear it. Please pray for me.
In the meantime, Jack is a beautiful boy and a precious addition to our church family. I'm so glad he's a part of my life. (thanks R & N)

Update on our most recent trip to Nashville: The trip was perfect! We arrived on Thursday and after a brief yet disturbing "pat down" at the airport in Las Vegas, (a future post topic) we arrived on time. We awoke on Friday,ran a few errands, ending up at Home Depot (first of many, many trips to Home Depot that weekend) to purchase the paint, stains and supplies.

By noon on Friday we began the task of preparing the room for paint. We put on the first of 3 coats of paint. We divided the walls into 2 different sections (bottom l/3 was painted blue & the top 2/3 a beautiful cream color). Then the hard part began. We placed 3 inch chair rail moulding around the entire room. Chip carefully and painfully measured and cut each piece (thanks Mike M. measure twice, cut once or twice in some cases)while I put 3 coats of stain (1 coat red mahogany, 2 coats of ebony) and achieved just the right color to match the furniture. By Monday, we had transformed the "room" into the "nursery" where our little grandson would rest his little head. It is a room already filled with so much love.








In between coats of paint and allowing for drying time, Chip completed a healthy list of "Daddy Do" chores, which always makes his heart swell with pride, knowing he was able to help his daughter and son-in-law. The weekend in Nashville was truly a labor of love and we're so honored to have been able to do it!


Father God,
I am relying on you to give me the necessary strength for all the farewells to come. Granted they are only temporary and although it might sound like I'm complaining, Lord, I know how blessed I am. Thank You for the resources you've allowed us to have in order to make the necessary trips back and forth across the country. I know I'm more fortunate than most and I want to thank You! For reasons I trust You to reveal in Your time, I will accept I cannot be a part of our grandson's everyday life, in the traditional sense. I know, with Your help, I will be a "there" in some fashion and he will know me. With You as the bond we all share, may he always feel our love.
Amen.

Snips and Snails and Other Good Stuff

Let me just begin by thanking my technical support team, my niece Shannon and her husband Erick. They figured out why my "profile" wouldn't stay at the top of my blog. Thank you very much for fixing me! You are two of my favorite nerds! *wink*
Time goes by much to quickly. Alyson's shower was nearly two weeks ago and I haven't posted one single thought or put up one single picture. I really thought I would be much more disciplined at this.

Thank you Christine for being such a great friend of Alyson. You threw a beautiful shower and if I might say, "Martha Stewart, look out!" All of the little touches you put on everything were so unique and wonderful. If you ever go into event planning let me know. I'll hire you for every special event I have!


To all our friends and family who came (some from very far away, considering how far out in Henderson we were..*smiles*)thank you for everything. We're so happy you could all be there. You helped to make the day so memorable.


Chip and I are very excited to be heading to Nashville over the Labor Day Holiday weekend. That weekend we have the honor (I hope we're still calling it an honor by the end of the weekend) of painting the baby's nursery. I'll post photos of the finished room, but at the speed I get these things posted, the baby may be celebrating his first birthday before I get it up. I will get better...maybe.

Alyson is now in her 21st week of pregnancy and she's feeling great! She says she's feeling the baby move quite a bit now and Mike has actually felt it moving too! School is back in session and she's working hard. Mike returned to work at the hospital. He enjoyed his vacation very much, but is clearly back into the grind. Both are counting the days until the baby comes. Which honestly, as the expectant grandma...it seems to be flying by.

The baby's name has not been decided yet, so for now he's "my little grandson" or "my little angel". It will be nice when they choose the name, but it is a big responsibility and we understand it has to be perfect. I remember naming each of our kids and thinking, "OK, what will this sound like coming from the kids on the playground?" You can't be too careful, children can be very mean.

My thoughts are random and this post is rather dull, but it is what it is. Some days you have it and other days...well...are other days!

God, You are a great God. You love us unconditionally; on days when we think we deserve it and on other days when we clearly know we don't. Thank you! Thank you for my family and the love we share. Through the heartaches and the happiness, You never change. Thank you for your faithfulness and your recent reminder to me of your perfect timing. You are awesome! Thank you again for "my little angel". Keep him safe in his mother's womb. I ask for your loving arms of protection to be tightly wrapped around them all. In Jesus' name. Amen

It's A . . .

Boy!

And we couldn't be happier! Here's the announcement I made for my office door...who's proud?!!!

Yes, it was worth the wait. Alyson and Mike found out on Thursday, August 3rd when they visited the doctor. The receptionist at her doctor's office made a "mistake" and accidently put the wrong date down on the paperwork stating Alyson was 20 weeks into her pregnancy not the actual 18 weeks.They normally don't do the ultrasounds until the 20th week...which would be after the planned baby shower and visit to Las Vegas, so the receptionist was able to assist just a little. However that ultrasound tech was bright, although her "bedside manner" left something to be desired, she saw immediately that our little one was only at 18 weeks gestation. Oops! All went well though and they were able to determine the sex.

Prior to the ultrasound, Alyson sent out an e-mail to all her family and friends and told them, under no circumstance was anyone going to find out the gender until Sunday, August 6th, when they were in Vegas. They weren't able to tell most of us in person they were pregnant and they really wanted to see all of our faces when the big announcement was made as to the sex.

Mike's parents invited us all over for dinner. Everyone was there; Don, Diane, Heather (Mike's family) and us (Chip and Dawn), Bryan & Kerry, Jeffrey & Monica (Alyson's family) and great-grandma Dodi. We had to wait for Heather to get off work and when she got there, Alyson and Mike popped in the video and we watched...and waited...finally after verifying all body parts were there (head, heart, hands, feet etc) we got to the right area...it's confirmed IT'S A BOY!

Tears of happiness and joy followed with lots of questions as to names, nursery themes, colors, etc. followed. It was a night to remember!

Gracious, Heavenly Father,Giver of Life and Creator of All,
You are amazing God! You have created this little being and more important you knew it was a HE, long before we knew he would BE. Thank you for this little gift. This gift that has brought us closer together as family and friends. This gift that will forever weave us closer as two separate families...now we are one family. Thank you for the miracle of birth. Again we lift up this precious child and his parents and we ask your arms of protection be wrapped tightly around them and keep them safe. We thank you in the name of Jesus. Amen

A Weekend to Remember

It has taken me far longer to post the recounting of my visit to Nashville than I thought. However, it was one of those times I wanted to savor and keep to myself and enjoy for just a little while. Forgive me. I hope you feel the joy and happiness I felt as I shared this special weekend with my daughter and son-in-law.

The Weekend

Did you ever have one of those times when everything just fell into place? You know, where the weather was perfect, your timing right on and even your hair cooperated? I just had one of those weekends. Sure there were things that could have been different, but nothing was going to spoil this weekend. Even the fact that the fireflies stood me up, wasn't going to ruin it. My disposition was so perfect, I've already forgiven those silly little critters for believing that 100 degree weather and 50% humidity was just too much for them. It's all good! My time in Nashville couldn't have been more perfect.

My flight to Nashville was uneventful and Mike and Alyson were waiting for me in the terminal, I might add WITH my luggage already retrieved from baggage claim!(see what I mean about everything falling into place?)We got to their house and after properly greeting the "grandpuppies", Briley & Brody we slipped off to bed for a good night's sleep. The next morning, Alyson and I awoke and planned out the next few days. Thursday: Eat breakfast, trip to Babies R Us (adding to the registry), Baby USA (ordering the crib...picture below), Lunch at the Puffy Muffin (where a large gathering of the local "Red Hat Society" was meeting), more shopping (cute boutiques in Nashville!), home for a quick break. Called one of Alyson's girlfriends and invited her to go with us to see "The Devil Wears Prada" (loved it) We threw a few salmon filets on the grill, cooked up some veggies and made bruschetta (didn't have to run to the store for anything, we had it all in the fridge!...gotta love that!)

The Crib...isn't it gorgeous?

Friday morning came and we enjoyed a slower morning. Alyson gave me a quick run down on the do's and don'ts of digital scrapbooking (can't wait to start that), read through our e-mails and left on time, for our pedicures! What fun....the store owner's little girl, 2 l/2 yr old Morgan, took quite a liking to me and gave me love! I guess she could tell I was an expectant grandma and wanted to give me a little glimpse at what smiling all the time was going to feel like!

After our pedicures it was off to the Oprayland Mall. We had a great lunch and then we hit the maternity shops. Alyson tried on a ton of clothes and looked beautiful in everything. I was surprised to see that in Motherhood Maternity stores they actually have pregnancy pillows to slip under your clothes to help you gauge what this outfit will look like as the mommy progresses in her pregnancy. That was fun!
We made our purchases and explored a little more of the mall,which by the way is huge! We then began our search for a book that comes highly recommended from several pregnant mommies at our church. It's called "Supernatural Childbirth" by Terry & Jack Mize. Barnes and Noble in the Oprayland mall didn't have it but called another store for us and they said they would hold it for us. We traveled a few miles to the Cool Springs Mall to pick it up, all the while just enjoying each other's company. After picking up the book, we headed back to the house, where Mike was resting. He had just come off a 36 hour shift at the hospital and had only gotten a few winks. He was tired. We let him sleep as we prepared dinner and went outside to wait on the arrival of the fireflies! I had a glass of merlot, Alyson a glass of Welches Grape Juice and we settled in and waited, and waited and waited. As we waited, more and more neighbors made their way through the neighborhood for their evening walks. Unlike people in Nevada, these people actually wave and say hello to people on the street. It's true what they say about "southern hospitality", there's nothing like it! I'm sad to report though, that the fireflies (or lightning bugs) were a no show. I said earlier that I have forgiven them, however they should note; I'm coming back in 1 month and they'd better be there!



My final day in Nashville with Alyson and Mike was spent having breakfast at the Loveless Cafe, a tour of the Belle Meade plantation, lots of conversation on what life will be like for all of us with a new baby, a quick nap, as we tried to watch a movie at the house and finally the trip to the airport. This goodbye wasn't as difficult, because we all knew we would see each other in 2 weeks. Alyson and Mike will arrive in Las Vegas on August 5th and they'll be here until the 13th. On the 12th we celebrate with a baby shower and later that day, Alyson and Mike will be helping to dedicate Kyla Elizabeth Bieger, as her Godparents. Kyla is my niece's daughter. It will be a great way to end their visit. Then in just a few weeks Chip and I head to Nashville where we'll spend the weekend painting the baby's nursery! We're so excited!

So, to the average person, this weekend might sound like "any weekend, 2006" but to me, it was the bonding of a mother's heart to her pregnant daughter and her child. I needed this weekend, like I needed air. Mike & Alyson, thank you from the bottom of my heart for showing me such great hospitality and love. I'm so proud you will be the parents of my grandchild! I love you!



Father God, thank you for all the gifts you have allowed me to have. The family I enjoy, the job I have that allows me to be able to make trips such as this one. Happiness, that I know Father, only comes from you. Forgive me for the times, and there are many, when I take them all for granted. I "needed" this weekend Father to connect with my pregnant daughter and God, when I think about that "need" it causes me to pause and think about you and how you want me to connect with you in just that way. If my daughter had rejected me, in any way this weekend, Lord it would have crushed me, yet I reject you, when I'm too busy to pray or to be in Your Word, or when I make choices that I know you don't want me to make. I ask for Your forgiveness God and pray that I will be the daughter you've always wanted. That the times we spend together will be times You want to savor and enjoy. I love You God! Amen

A Grandma-to-be's Blog

Today's the day! I leave Las Vegas at 4:20 PM and arrive in Nashville at 10:00 PM. Let the spoiling begin!

Mother/Daughter Bonding Weekend Coming Up

I can't stand this wait! I'm leaving on the 19th of this month to see my daughter for the first time since she's announced her pregnancy! It is the oddest feeling I'm having about seeing her. It's a need...a deep down, gut-wrenching need. Can't explain it, I'm just very grateful I get to go to Nashville. My plan is for it to be a weekend of bonding, pampering, nurturing and spoiling my daughter and my grandchild to be!

I can't wait until we find out the sex of the baby. Ever since the announcement, I've been patient and content calling it "the baby". But now I'm ready to start making purchases for my grandchild. And I'd love for it to be bought with the specific intent of it being for either a boy or a girl! I think they may find out the sex within the next month...maybe sooner! I can't wait!!!

I don't have a preference and I know my daughter and her husband don't either. We'll be happy with a healthy baby, 10 fingers/10 toes etc...but it sure will be nice to know. And honestly that surprises me! I have always felt that not knowing the sex of your baby until it was born, was one of the last, true surprises left in this world. But my feelings have changed...along with having an epidural. I had 3 babies, all natural deliveries...not even a Tylenol to "take off the edge". But after being in the labor room with our friend Rebecca and watching her go through labor with a virtual party in her room...I'm a believer...bring on the epidural, if that's what you want!

So, I must wait one more week. I can do it...it's only 7 days...let the countdown begin!


Here we are on the day of her bridal shower. Isn't she beautiful? I'll share a photo of us when I return!

Gracious, most wonderful Father in heaven,
Again I come to You with a most grateful heart. You have blessed me, far more than I deserve. I have a wonderful family. I have good health and wonderful friends. You have given me wisdom in many areas of my life, and You have shown me Your grace and Your mercy, every day. Father, I thank you. I feel Your love and am thankful to You. I pray I will honor You each and every day and ask Your forgiveness when I fall short. I continue to ask that You keep my grandchild safe and protected in it's mother's womb. We're anxious to know him or her, but find a peace in knowing You already know everything about this child, this gift. And that it is loved, already more than we can ever know. Thank you again! We love you! Amen

When I was 21

Thirty years ago today, I was 21. Think about it. Me at 21...51 seemed so far away and it seemed so old! 21 seems like yesterday. What is it "they" say? "Today's 50 is like yesterday's 30." I believe it. I wonder though, when my mom's generation turned 50, did they think they were better off than their mothers at 50? Hmmm, makes me wonder.

Anyway, thirty years ago today, I declared it as the happiest day of my life! You see, thirty years ago today I gave birth to my first born son, Bryan.

Going back to my first post on this blog, I mentioned Chip and I getting married at 19 & 20 years of age. Within the first year I had gotten pregnant and subsequently lost that baby. Looking back I remember being so sad, yet so naive. Quite honestly, I remember the doctor asking me how far along I thought I was and I remember looking at him thinking, aren't you the doctor, how should I know?!!! Oh, I was so young and naive.

They advised us to wait at least 3 months before trying again and I couldn't wait. I was so anxious to be a mommy! It took almost a year before I got pregnant again (I was much wiser this time around)and on November 18, 1975 (Chip's 22nd birthday)I went to the doctor and it was confirmed...I was pregnant!

That night I fixed Chip's favorite meal (I think it was meatloaf) and wrapped his presents, including the books and pamphlets the doctor had just given me...What to expect when you're expecting types of books...after dinner he opened his gifts and it took him a few minutes to make the connection, but he was ecstatic! Our child was due on July 4, 1976...our Bicentennial Baby!

Then the waiting and planning began! We lived in a tiny 2 bedroom house behind a house in Whittier, CA. It was perfect for us, but our landlord said from the beginning, NO DOGS and NO KIDS....we already fudged on the dog having snuck in an old english sheepdog puppy, named Daisy, and knew we couldn't/shouldn't press our luck with the kids. We soon began looking for our first home. By the grace of God we connected with an old high school friend's dad, who helped us get our first house.

As time went on and my stomach grew bigger, I remember each trimester as if it were yesterday. I remember that first "flutter" of movement and not knowing for sure, if that was the baby moving. I remember the baby getting hiccups (a lot) and feeling like that was chinese torture. I remember a little heartburn, but not much, which I was told meant my baby wouldn't have a lot of hair. If you got heartburn often, your baby would be born with a full head of hair. It seems as if that is true, because Bryan didn't have any hair when he was born.

Back in the 70's we weren't able to find out the gender of the baby. Back then, ultrasounds were used only if the doctors suspected a potential problem. Thankfully, there were no red flags at all! My weight gain was typical, my health perfect, my level of happiness was ecstatic!

About 1 month prior to Bryan's birth, Chip and I were supposed to meet my parents for dinner. Before that though, we were out shopping for washers and dryers and I remember stopping for ice cream and I think I ordered strawberry. The only reason I remember that is because I remember the scoop falling off the cone and onto my big, fat stomach and leaving a pink stain on my cream outfit. Now, normally I wouldn't remember those types of details, however after shopping, we went to my parent's house to "go out for dinner" and the house was filled with all our family and friends for a surprise shower! It was awesome, even if I looked like a dork with a big strawberry stain on my tummy!

The final month flew by as we packed up and waited for moving day into the new house. We were scheduled to take ownership around the first of June, however the sellers new house wasn't going to be ready until mid-July. They needed to rent it back from us for a month. Again being so young and naive, we said OK...not knowing what was about to happen to us.

On July 9th, still living in our little rental, Chip and I headed out to the Pizza Royale, a pizza parlor that my dad managed. My dad's brother, Rohnnie and his family were visiting from Idaho and were heading home the next day. We all planned to eat dinner and visit before they hit the road. We got there around 5:30 PM...I told Chip to order me a rootbeer and I headed off to the bathroom when I stopped dead in my tracks! Chip asked me what was wrong and I said, "We need to go, my water just broke!" Now we took all the lamaze classes they had to offer. After all, I was going to have "Childbirth without pain"...(that is seriously how they advertised it!) We did our exercises faithfully. We even went camping and had to excuse ourselves from our friends while we practiced....we were faithful I tell you!

We went home and tried to rest while timing the contractions. Chip and I both had been up since about 4:30 that morning and rest what was what we needed. Chip didn't have a problem resting, while I timed the contractions, which at this point didn't bother me...yet. Around 9:00 that night the contractions were 5 minutes apart. The doctor said to head to the hospital when they were 5 minutes apart. We arrived at Queen of the Valley hospital at 9:25 PM. I was dialated to 2 and everything else was good, so they kept me. They placed me in a "labor room" with two beds, where we remained for 12 hours! Chip made himself comfortable on the other bed and promptly fell asleep. Sometime around 2:00 AM I found myself throwing pillows, straws and anything else I could manage across the room to his bed. He was supposed to be my coach, what the heck was he doing sleeping!

The rest of the stay in the labor room is a blur, except when the doctor showed up and checked me. I think I was dialated to an 8 and He said "she still has a way to go, so I'm going down to the cafeteria for pancakes." He suggested Chip tag along...I was furious. If I had to endure this kind of discomfort (alright, by now it was pain!)he could manage to work through a few hunger pains!) The doctor did mention however, that you can never tell with redheads..."They tend to surpise you" is what he said. The doctor left, Chip wisely remained with me and within 15 minutes they were paging the doctor to come to the delivery room. He made it just in time for us to deliver our 8 lb. 4 oz. boy, Bryan Evan Bruner. 21 inches long, born at 9:25 AM on 7/10/76.

At that point, it was the happiest moment of our lives! Chip, who never shows emotion, couldn't contain himself. He cried, and as he's thanking me for everything, he says to me, "I can't wait to have another one." Which I promptly replied with, "if you ever touch me again, I will kill you!"

We stayed in the hospital 2 days and went home to begin our life together as a family. Bryan was such a good baby. God knew these two, naive and innocent kids, Chip and Dawn probably wouldn't be able to handle a difficult, crying, colicky baby, so he gave us Bryan. We have given thanks to God every day since.

God, it's so funny to me that as I reflect back thirty years, some of the details I remember are as clear to me today, as they were back then. Thank you for that gift. For remembering that beautiful memory as if it were yesterday. Lord, there have been difficult days and trials since for sure, but all in all, you have kept two really dumb kids from wrecking something so beautiful. You get the glory and the honor Lord, only You!
Thank you for our family. Thank you for the miracle of birth that we will get to relive again with the birth of our grandchild. We love you so much! Thank you for your son Jesus. It's in His name I pray. Amen
Happy 30th Birthday Bryan. You make us smile everyday! You are loved!


Here Bryan is today, 30 years later with his wonderful girlfriend, Kerry!

The View From My Soapbox

There are few things in life that really bother me. I mean most of the inconsiderate things I see people do makes me shake my head, but I've usually forgotten about them within a few minutes. Not using turn signals when driving is one of those things. Not cleaning up your table at a fast food restaurant is another. It's rude, but it doesn't make my blood boil,if you know what I mean. On the other hand, there are three things in particular, that make me scratch my head and wonder, "what on earth are you thinking?" The first thing that really bothers me is people who cannot return their grocery carts to the grocery cart corral. They think nothing of leaving it in the empty car stall beside them and leaving no room for another car to park. Or they roll the cart to the nearest curb and lift up the front of the cart and firmly plant it in the dirt. Or, the worst one is when I see people actually roll it into someone elses car and leave it parked there! It appalls me...I want to scream, "You know, it isn't all about you. You look like you could stand to walk a little further to the cart corral. Those few extra steps of walking might really do you good"! It's unbelievable, how many people feel this world revolves around them and how convenient life must be made for them and no one else. However, I am a chicken and hate verbal confrontations. So when I see one of these situations as they are happening, I will intentionally walk over to the cart that was just "parked", grab it and take it inside the store...in essence I'm saying, "Here Jerk, let me take that in for you!" 'Nuff said on that except to say, if you are one of those who can't seem to make it to the cart corral...I don't want to hear your justification. There is no excuse...please read on or log off!

The second thing I hate are smokers who feel the world is their ashtray! The other day I was walking behind a man who was smoking. No matter which direction I leaned toward, the wind seemed to be blowing in that direction. We were both heading toward the entrance of the grocery store and this man puffed all the way to the entrance and then threw his cigarette behind him, not caring who might be back there...which just happened to be me! It makes me so mad to see these inconsiderate people, not only polluting the air I breathe, but thinking nothing of throwing their lit object out their car windows when they are finished with it! Have you ever looked down in the gutters of a street while parked at a stoplight? There are hundreds of cigarette butts that people threw out their windows! These people think the world is their freakin' ashtray I tell you!!!! There is nothing I hate worse than seeing a pile of used cigarette butts in the middle of a parking lot somewhere, that someone thought was a great place to empty their car ashtray. Obviously these people are too lazy to walk to a trash can....which I want to tell them the same thing I want to tell the shopping cart offenders....YOU COULD USE THE WALK PEOPLE!!!!!!!

The last thing I want to mention while I'm up here, high on my soapbox is this: We gotta do something about the tagging in this city! Mayor Goodman may have been right when he wanted to "catch these criminals and break their thumbs". I know it sounds drastic, but what right do they have to chose to deface other people's property? If they think they have artistic talent, prove it in positive ways, not by maliciously spray painting signs and symbols that mean absolutely nothing to a majority of the population!

Soapboxes are symbollically something people are said to stand on when they are preaching "down" to people. I really don't mean to be speaking "down" to anyone and if I have offended anyone who reads this, I'm sorry. However, this being my "blog" and a place to express myself...I feel cleansed! I'm stepping down now...but not before I wish my son-in-law Mike Gilles, M.D. a very happy 28th birthday! Mike, you are the best son-in-law I could ever had hoped for. God certainly blessed us all on the day you took my daughter as your bride. Happy Birthday, Son! We love you!

God, there are things in life that make me stop and wonder what in the world is going on. But, then I stop and just try to imagine what it must look like from your perspective. If these things make my blood boil how to they appear to you? Are they so slight and insignificant? After all, there are children being abused and going to bed hungry. There is war. There is hatred. There are homeless. Forgive me God, for the times I've been so caught up in the trivial things of life, and have forgotten to try and look at things through your eyes. Instead of being critical and judgmental, Lord, help me to have more of a servants heart. To be thankful I have healthy hands and legs to take that shopping cart inside the store. To be forgiving toward the smokers and Lord, I'm still having trouble with the taggers, so please show me what to do there. Thank you Father for all the blessings you have given us on this day. Our son-in law Mike, our beautiful grandchild-to-be, all of our children, family and friends. Thank you for the healthy delivery of "Baby Jack Karl" born today. I am thankful! Amen

Pollyanna Doesn't Live Here Anymore

When I was younger I used to always have a great outlook on things. If there was some sort of disaster, I would always find the bright side. I was accused on more than one occasion of being "such a Pollyanna". Well, no more. I haven't heard those words in a very long time. I don't know if it's just human nature or part of my genealogy, but it seems like I've gotten a little cynical and grouchy in the last few weeks. Remember the house on the speedway and problems we were having in getting the sale to come to a close? Well, Praise God, it finally closed and recorded. The new people finally received their keys and are probably unpacking boxes as I type this. I'm genuinely happy for them. However, during these last 3 weeks of waiting, I have been mislead on more than one occasion. I have been out and out lied to on more than one occasion. And, I have felt a level of discouragement I have never felt before. As a matter of fact, when all the key players were telling us to "be patient it will happen", I found yet another reason to not believe it. I was becoming a negative, old grouch! Yikes, how did that happen? Finally today, we saw our bank balance online and realized the sale was final. The long wait was over. We are officially "apartment dwellers" and we couldn't be happier! Thank you God!

Speaking of God, I will be the first to admit how little I depended on Him during the last 3 weeks. I think in retrospect, He was trying to get my attention. Oh I prayed every day. I thanked Him for His goodness and grace, but looking back, I hear the words I said, but I can't remember any emotion behind it...except selfishness. "Lord, please hurry this along, so we can begin to make plans to visit our daughter and son-in-law and share in their excitement of the new baby" I remember praying. And as it got later and later in the process, my prayers sounded something like this: "Lord, please let this be over soon. We don't really want to make another house payment and a rent payment". Wow,looking back, I'll bet God was shaking His head saying, "She just doesn't get it. I have given her good health, a marriage that today is strong. The resources to be able to afford an extra house payment, rent, and other necessary payments and she's not even saying thank you for that." The Bible says in 1 Thessalonians 5:18: give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. I've certainly not had a very thankful heart these last few weeks. Instead I was allowing myself to feel the weight of the circumstances rather than allowing God's mercy to shine through. And though I did not do or say anything to purposefully dishonor God, I certainly did not honor Him the way He deserves to be honored. My new favorite song is by Casting Crowns called "Praise You In This Storm". I even downloaded it as a ringtone on my phone, I love it that much. Part of the song reads: "I was sure by now/That You would have reached down/And wiped our tears away/Stepped in and saved the day/But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining. As the thunder rolls/I barely hear You whisper through the rain/"I'm with you"/And as Your mercy falls/I raise my hands and praise the God who gives/And takes away." I am ashamed. I know I could have honored God by not complaining as much and not allowing my stress level to peak at times. I could have delcared that God was in control and not any of the "key players" and I should have looked for the real reasons behind the delay, the hidden jewels He may have had for me. I should have carefully been listening for him to say "I'm with you". My gracious, heavenly Father, I come before you now with a very grateful heart. A heart that is bursting at the seams in gratitude for your mercy and your unconditional love and forgiveness. Lord, I'm sorry for the times I was so busy worrying about the situation and talking about it so much, that I missed what you may have been whispering in my ear. Father, I'm listening now and I hear your words of love and forgiveness. Please hear mine; that I will sincerely try to face the stresses of life with gratitude and I will always try to slow down enough to hear You speak. And Lord I pray, I will honor you always. Amen. Pollyanna might not live here anymore, but I do. And as long as I am able, I pray I will honor God in all that I do. By the way...did I tell you I'm going to be a grandma?!!! Praise God!

Life's Not Fair . . .

To my unborn grandchild, I want to say there will come a time when you find yourself saying that very same thing. "Life's not fair"! It might be because you think you should eat ice cream for breakfast and mommy said no. Perhaps you'll want to cross the street by yourself and your parents don't feel you're ready. As you grow older, your heart at some point, may get broken and you'll find yourself wondering how life can be so cruel. How can something so horrible happen when you didn't do anything wrong...? Truth is, life is not fair...but God is always fair.

Life has taken a strange twist for us. The house on the speedway I mentioned the other day, the one we thought we'd sold? Well, it looks like the sale is not going to go through. We had a meeting yesterday with our real estate agent and our broker, and unless there are some pretty drastic things that happen between now and 9:00 AM today, we're going to have to make some pretty tough decisions about putting the house back on the market to sell. Apparently our buyer is having a tough time obtaining a loan. So today,I'm wondering how life can be so unfair. We did everything right. We entered into an agreement with our buyers in good faith. We left our house in the very best condition possible in order to let the new people have a wonderful beginning there. We've been living in an apartment for two weeks when we could and should still be in our home. And not only have we had to make our mortgage payment, we've had to make a rent payment as well. And today I'm saying, "Life's not fair!"

We talked about it for hours after we both got home last night, playing out several scenarios. How if we'd have done anything differently, could it have changed the outcome? We'll never know for sure. But we did realize one thing for sure, that if we had missed out on this experience, and at this point, still not knowing the ultimate outcome, we would have missed out on an opportunity to see God working in our lives. We wouldn't have seen our dependence on God deepen as it has. We have observed positive changes in our character that would have gone unnoticed. We would have missed the opportunity to rely on each other more, as we have. When one of us was exhausted and worn down, the other one carried on. We were each other's biggest cheerleaders and supporters. Not to say we didn't each collectively have our meltdowns, but compared to stressful times in our past, we have grown tremendously. Life's not fair...sure, there will always be times when that's true...at first glance. But, put some distance between you and the situation you're finding yourself in and you just might see the bigger picture and see that God is always fair. Lean on God when the world seems unfair. He will always be there. Oh yeah...did I tell you I'm going to be a grandma? Life's good!

Gracious Heavenly Father, Thank you for loving us so much that you protect us from ourselves. That the things we think we deserve to have today, you sometimes save for later. Knowing that in time, it will be appreciated and used to glorify You. Help us to recognize that if we wait, sometimes the outcome will be even better. Forgive us for being the selfish children we are and for thinking we deserve to have it our way, all the time. I ask God, that You show us how to depend on You more, to seek Your word and listen to Your truths for our life, based on what You want for us Lord, and not what we think we should have. Thank you again for your Son and the sacrifices that were made for us. Our difficult times and stressful situations pale in comparison to what He has suffered for us. Help me to remember that always. In Jesus' name...Amen.

A Few of My Favorite Things

"Rain drops on roses and whiskers on kittens, bright copper kettles and warm, woolen mittens". These are a few of "My Favorite Things". I love that song! It makes me happy. This morning I awoke to birds singing in nearby trees. Now most of you might say, "OK, so what?" What you might not realize is, we just moved off of the 3rd turn of the Las Vegas Motor Speedway. Not literally obviously, but the street on the side of our house, sure made it seem that way. The noise as the cars and busses went by was constant and loud. We couldn't leave our doors and windows open because the sounds of traffic would drown out conversation as well as the television. So to actually hear birds sing their morning praises to God, was a beautiful sound to me! I pray that by the end of today I will remember the beautiful way my morning began.

It's been a rough couple of days. Our house (on the speedway) was sold a little over a month ago and we've moved into (the quiet) apartment. What is so rough about that? The house still hasn't closed and there appears to be potential problems with our buyers obtaining a loan. We're hoping by today we'll have some news as to the direction we'll be going. We know we won't be moving back, but we'll be discussing the possibility of putting our home back on the market. Pray for us...this is NOT one of "My Favorite Things".

I got a call yesterday from a dear, elderly lady in our church. Her husband has been placed in a nursing home and it won't be too long before he's called home to be with Jesus. Mary, knows this to be true and the peace she has was so contagious. After talking to her and hearing the contentment in her voice, I knew the stressful situation I thought I was in, didn't compare to hers. Yet she was at peace. Lord, how come I get it wrong more times than I get it right?

Another favorite thing of mine are fireflies, or lightning bugs for you Southerners! I saw my first firefly last summer (I was 51)when we went to visit our daughter in Nashville. I remember I squealed with delight! I don't know their ecological value to the planet, but to me, they make me happy! I can't wait for my next trip south...Did I tell you I'm going to be a Grandma? That is one of my favorite things and that makes me happy!

Father God, Creator of the Universe, I stand before you in awe at the world You created for us to enjoy. Lord forgive me for taking each day for granted. For acting like it's mine to do with what I please. Thank you for your grace and your mercy and I beg for your forgiveness. Father, to be given the honor of becoming someone's grandma, is for me, a dream come true. I loved being a parent, although at times I know I didn't do it well. But with your help Lord, I will be the best grandma my little, beloved grandchild could ever want. I promise he or she will know you by name. With your help and guidance he or she will come to know you as their friend and Savior. We give you all the honor and praises forever! Amen

The Only Thing Constant is Change. Mother's Day 2006

Change. It's an interesting word. Two definitions come to mind. Change; as in what might be in your coin purse or pants pocket or Change; the exchange of one thing for another. This Mother's Day there is a change that's taking place in my life and it's more the latter definition. This year I'm an expectant grandma. In my earlier posts I describe it as the best news ever! And that hasn't changed, but quite honestly since that great news has been shared with me, my life is in a constant state of change. Last week our house went up for sale and within 6 days it sold. Praise God, because we desperately needed to move, however given the current market, the six day sale caught us off guard. So all day Saturday was spent apartment hunting. One of the changes that's occuring in my life is trying to decide what to do next. We're not quite at retirement age, but it's certainly not very far away. How far do we downsize? Do we need a yard for family parties and gatherings or do we simply allow the shift to occur and let our kids take those things on? Lots of "change" to be thinking about.
In addition to the change in location of our home and what that might look like, my body is going through a change and it's not what I expected. I'm 51 years old and I'm going through "The Change". That time in a woman's life that we always felt was far off in the future. The night sweats, the hot flashes, the sleepless nights....hit me like a ton of bricks. "I'm too young!", I think, but oh reality can be cruel. My daughter sends me weekly e-updates on her pregnancy. In a recent update the article explained some of the changes my pregnant daughter might be experiencing. It read: "If dramatic mood swings leave you feeling like a soap-opera actress this week, you're not alone. Hormonal fluctuations are giving your emotions the yo-yo treatment right now. One minute you're ripping into your mate for leaving the toilet seat up, and the next you're weeping over a telephone company commercial." When I read that I thought; Funny how life goes full circle. This is exactly how I'm feeling as I go through "the change". Life can be cruel! On a happier note...did I tell you I'm going to be a grandma?!!!!

Father God, I am continually amazed at how well thought out life is. The intricate details and obvious miracles that are a part of creating life are at the same time, similar to the intricate details and miracles of the body as it ages. As I wonder why Father, I will trust in your wisdom. Father, as much as I can detest growing older, I am so grateful for this body you have given me. Lord, help me to continue to be good to my body. Help me to not take it for granted. Help me to be healthy enough to give my granchild pony rides and love every minute of it! I pray God that I will honor you by honoring myself and my body. Help me to not be so critical and to appreciate what I have and not wish forever for something I don't. I will trust in your infinite wisdom.

Got Advice?

A Grandma-to-be's Blog

I am so excited to be a grandma I can't stand it! Problem is...I'm sworn to secrecy. For reasons I truly respect, my daughter has asked me to keep this quiet for just a little while. She's very early in her pregnancy and wishes to wait before shouting from the rooftops. One of the reasons she shared it with me now is so I could begin praying for her unborn child, my grandchild. I am both filled with honor and pride to do this for them both.

I love talking to my daughter. She's so intelligent and insightful on so many levels. But I really love talking to her now...now that she's pregnant. You see my daughter has had a lot more experiences in life than I had. I was married practically right out of high school. She waited until after college. I don't have a college education, I haven't traveled nearly as much as she has. She's social and refined and exhumes self confidence. I on the other hand, am more reserved and self conscience about myself. She can be the life of the party and I love to observe the people at the party. However, on this topic of pregnancy, I am the more experienced one. I've had 3 children. I've raised 3 very social, wonderfully talented, and I might add beautiful babies into adulthood.. So yesterday, when she wrote an e-mail asking about something specifically pregnancy related....I was able to quickly write back my advice...and it was good!

I am going to enjoy my daughter's pregnancy. Not in a glad it's you and not me way, but in a reliving the experience kind of way. It's been 26 years since I was last pregnant and I know science and technology have come a long way since then. But the basics of being a pregnant woman haven't changed through the ages. The anticipation, the anxiousness, the sleepless nights, that first feeling of movement. Heartburn and swollen feet, choosing the perfect name. The endless trips to the bathroom. Guessing hair and eye color. These are things I know. These are things I remember. These are things I will love sharing.

Father in Heaven...in your infinite wisdom you created the miracle of birth. The beauty of seeing a mother hold her brand new baby in her arms, must bring you the ultimate joy. Watching the love between a mother and child blossom, practically at the moment of conception Lord, must be the most beautiful sight in your eyes. I know for me, watching my daughter hold her brand new baby, will give me a little glimpse of what life must be like for you. Thank you for blessing me with this gift. In your sons name I pray.

The Best News EVER!

A Grandmother's love letter to her unborn grandchild. My dear special angel: Saturday, May 6, 2006. We just received the best news. Your Mommy and Daddy called to tell us they were pregnant. Who am I you ask? I'm your Grandma. Your maternal grandmother to be exact. Now I don't know what you'll call me; Grandma, Grammy, Grandma Dawn or something of your own creation, that doesn't matter to me. I just want you to know how much you are loved already. Let me tell you a little bit about me, before I go on. My name is Dawn Marie (Webb) Bruner. I'm 51 years old. I've been married to your Grandfather Chip, for 32 years. We live in Las Vegas, NV and have, for the past 19 years. Your Mommy and Daddy both grew up in Las Vegas, but neither were born here. I was born in Milwaukee, Wisconsin on August 17, 1954. Your great-grandparents (my parents) were Wayne (1930-1987) and Dorothy Webb. Great Grandma is still alive and doing very well. I can't wait to see her face when she finds out she is going to be a great-grandma again for the 5th time! You have 2 uncles (your mommy's brothers) Bryan (age 29) and Jeff (age 26 in a few days). Plus your daddy has a sister named Heather (she's 30 today). Your grandma and grandpa Gilles (Don & Diane) are awesome. I can't wait for you to meet everyone....but I'm getting way ahead of myself. I wanted to let you know what happened the first few minutes and the days, weeks and months that have led up to your birth...from the Grandma's perspective. I've talked to your Daddy and Mommy a couple of times since yesterday when they told us (well, I've talked to Mommy), and she's shared quite a bit of details of the weeks and months prior to your conception...(although thankfully, she left that part out). Your mommy and daddy had been trying very hard to have you. And as each month passed without an announcement, my heart broke along with theirs. Quietly I prayed for the day we would rejoice. And that day came for us, yesterday. A little background on me would include... I love kids. I always have. I've always had a special place in my heart for little ones and have always been able to connect with kids. Your mommy, her cousins and a lot of my co-workers, call me the "Baby Whisperer", because for the most part, I can quiet a baby and put them to sleep when most everyone else has given up. I usually say it's because I've bored them to sleep, but it's also because God has allowed me to share the love He has for them and now you, through me. For whatever reason, I feel His peace and unconditional love, when I'm around babies and small children and I think they feel that sense of calm I have. I've been honored to be able to really connect with so many kids, but there has always been a little piece of my heart that I've held back. And now I know I've held it back for you, my first grandchild. What joy my heart has as I think about you. Tears are streaming down my face and my heart swells with pride and joy as I think about you and your arrival. I want to be there when you're born. I pray I can be. But that's still a little ways off. Mommy says you will likely arrive into this world on or around January 3rd, 2007. I think it's the most perfect day! It's a brand new year and we'll start it with a brand new member of our family. We don't know yet if you'll be a boy or a girl. But God knows, and we have faith that is strong enough to believe that God knows what's best for us and we trust Him with our whole hearts. What a gift He has given me today. I am going to be someone's Grandma. Wow! Father in Heaven, Thank you for this precious gift, my first grandchild. Father, as this life is forming in it's mother's womb, I pray you will keep it safe. Help it to develop to full term and be delivered into this world a healthy infant. Lord, as God is my witness, I will help this child to know you, to love you and I will help to teach him or her about the unconditional love you have for him/her. I pray he/she grows to know you and chooses you as his/her Lord and Saviour. Lord, be with my daughter, Alyson and son-in-law Mike. Keep them safe from harm and help them to fully appreciate this time they have in anticipation of this new life. Help them to begin to prepare their home for this child. Help equip them with all the love, patience, rest, and spiritual readiness Lord as they patiently await the arrival of their son or daughter. Thank you God, for all the blessings you have so generously given to us. We are so unworthy. Thank you for your grace and mercy. May we continuously share that grace and mercy with everyone. In Jesus' name. Amen. I love you my precious Grandchild. And if you only knew how much and then measured that against how much God loves you, I believe you'll feel loved all the rest of your life. And that is my prayer. Your loving Grandma.